![]() Whenever we sent that yellow high-five, we were reminded that brown and black hands were not an option. Why might that be? Before, when white people sent a high-five over text, it didn't have to be about race. Andrew McGill at The Atlantic found that white emoji users err on the side of the yellow "default," rather than the colors that more closely match their skin. If she's not convinced yet? It might help to crack open the annals of emoji history.īut white people never wound up taking to the lighter-skinned emojis. Unlike your daughter, black people can't choose when to invoke their blackness. "A white teenager can walk into a store, and they don't feel at that point that they want to be black," says Kemp-Jackson. You can explain to her that, as a white person, she has a lot of privilege, both on her phone and face to face.īy trying on black skin when it is fun, safe and convenient, your daughter is inadvertently trivializing the experiences of real black people. You and your daughter already talk about race a lot, so treat this as part of that ongoing discussion. If that turns out to be the case, then you should explain to her that she is playing up harmful stereotypes about black people, even if that is not her intent. Does she think her raised-fist emoji looks more revolutionary when she paints it black? Her clapping hands more rhythmic? Her praise hands more dramatic? Her painted nails sexier? If your daughter believes that black skin is an inherent part of her message, she adds, then she needs to think harder about what it is about black skin that enhances her message. And the first step is to ask some questions. So yes, you should absolutely speak to your daughter about the implications of using emojis that don't match her racial identity. But the power dynamics that exist in real life don't disappear just because we're hidden behind a screen. When we step into the digital world, it's easy to feel like we can leave our IRL identities behind. Or maybe she thinks using them is a good way to show solidarity with her friends of color.īut there is a problem here. So maybe she feels that black hand emojis better convey what she is trying to communicate. It sounds like she cares about the well-being of the people of color around her, and she is probably not trying to cause offense. There are a lot of reasons your daughter might be using black hand emojis. (We'll get into some of the reasons in a sec.) A text that reads as playful to one person might come off as insensitive to another. The problem is, the emoji you choose might be sending the wrong message. How else do you efficiently convey: "Yes! What a great idea! I'm excited! (But not too excited)"? When a friend invites me over for dinner, I like to respond with a (thumbs-up). If your daughter is like me, she believes an emoji is worth a thousand words. So my question is, do I speak to her about using the emojis? As a family and on her own, our daily lives include many friendships and interactions with POC. We live in a diverse neighborhood of a diverse city. She even listens to your podcast with me sometimes. We discuss race and politics all the time at home. My daughter, a very conscious 15-year-old queer, white girl, has recently started using black hand emojis. This week, we're tackling a letter from Kristyn Gelfand, 38, in Toronto. On Ask Code Switch, we take on your trickiest questions about race and identity. ![]() What makes it more complicated? All those different skin tones. Trying to pick the right emoji to convey exactly what you're feeling - excitement, fear, existential dread - can be tough.
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